Im done with animals!

I really am a proud pet owner. I love my dog and cats and consider them much a part of my family. That being said, there is one major difference between my human family and my furry family.......my husband is not generally known to pee on things!!!! I am just so frustrated with animals I dont know what to do with myself. My cat has decided that the litterbox is no longer a great place to pee so now my clean clothes have become the new peepee spot. At 35 weeks pregnant having to carefully handle cat pee which requires me bending down sniffing clothing and pulling out the pee clothing is more than I am willing to take right now. I am at the moment feeling incredibly irritated by this situation and wondering how much patience do I truly have for this. The cats had a problem when we first moved into the house of peeing on things but it has been many many months if not years that we have had an actual problem with animal "mess." Some people are more patient with this than others but for me this is like my all time most hated situation. I cant keep up with laundry as it is but then to have to wash it over and over again because an animal cant seem to find the litterbox....unacceptable. Im not going to kick her out yet but post baby if we are still dealing with this than I cant make any guarantees because I will be running on zero sleep and post pregnancy hormone changes so all feline friends watch out!

Other happenings.....Bill's cousin Iza had her baby! I give her much credit being that she turned 40 this year and was blessed with a little pleasant surprise of being pregnant. So now the age span between her oldest and youngest child...18 years!!! She is really excited though and has always wanted another daughter. Yay for her!
Although it may have something to do with the fact that I am 35 weeks pregnant but I am definitely not seeing myself thinking new baby at the age of 40. By that time I want to be well into the high school years for my children. God will have to truly "intervene" to allow me to get pregnant at 40.

If you happen to be noticing the timestamp on this post you will realize that I am writing this at 1:30am. Now if you know me, you know that if I am not sleeping by 10:30 that is considered staying up late to me so I definitely have something going on. I regretfully have to write that my Grandpa passed away this evening. I actually just got back from the hospital and was unable to sleep so I am writing. I wasn't there when he actually passed but arrived about an hour later. It was surreal in that there he was laying lifeless and yet somehow he didnt seem gone. If you know me you also know that I dont do dead things very well everything from humans to goldfish. I will never understand wakes because the idea that people act like there isnt a dead body laying in the room is just something I cant understand well at all. Well there I was standing with the majority of my siblings my mom, dad, uncle and grandma in the room with my Grandpa as he laid in the same bed he was living and breathing in just over an hour before. Initially it was very hard and emotional to say the least then it just got quiet almost eerie kind of quiet, then it went to talking about what the next steps would be. I couldnt help but feel as though standing over his body talking about his funeral arrangements and deciding what "he would have wanted" was just wierd. I felt sort of trapped in a way because I felt that everyone needed to deal with it the way they needed to but at one point noone was even looking at him anymore it was like the whole wake situation. I needed an escape because for me I was very much still mourning and although they were too it became a discussion and time to reminisce. Again dead body in the room...could we please discuss in the hallway or something. Maybe I am just too emotional being pregnant and all to even dicuss this but I just can't help but think that no matter what death is always going to have the sad component but it will also always have the awkward component. Likely because people dont deal with it daily so that may explain it.
Along with that I have to mention that the women in my family are cursed or at least the first born daughters. Whether it is a curse or a blessing is yet to be understood by me but my mother lost all four of her grandparents within a month of giving birth to her 4 of her children. I am now following that same pattern being that I am a few weeks away from delivering my 2nd child and have lost my grandfather and with my daughter I lost my grandmother 5 weeks after she was born. I guess for some reason I must handle emotional turmoil in huge chunks better than a little at a time because I really dont know otherwise how to take this message from God. I really am having a hard time knowing which end is up right now. I am just going to end this blog praising God and in a way it is my reminder that in all things He is glorified. It is His faithfulness to me that I know that through my pain he will bless me and my family in ways that I cant fathom now.